Saturday, November 12, 2016

Time for Celebrities to Exit, Stage Left

...I voted for neither of them. I actually wrote in the name of someone who had been running earlier in the year, but now was back to his U.S. Senate race. (That should be a rather large clue.) I feared the prospect of Sec. Hillary Clinton (D.) and what she might do with the U.S. Supreme Court, and was entertaining the outside prospect of using my vote more directly to prevent that...but, no...I chose idealism over pragmatism, and then promised myself I'd leap off a mountain if my actions caused her to win my state by exactly one vote... none of the rest of what I'm about to write is really about President-Elect Trump (my congratulations, even though he wasn't even in my top fifteen choices...another hint...).

...the demonstrations taking place in major cities and on college campuses right now are what make me fear the future much more so than the election of anyone for president. The behavior of people uploading their own tearful, profanity-drenched, screaming tirades...or burning the American flag...or vandalizing public property...or assaulting someone they BELIEVE may have voted for Trump...or openly campaigning for assassination...makes me wonder if these violent agitators -- I won't insult infants -- have ever had anything go against them in their lives. I'm old enough to recall several Election Nights on which I went to bed, greatly disappointed at the outcome. I was sad when I woke up the next day, and often for several days afterward. But I somehow refrained from starting a dumpster fire. I have a temper tantrum every so often when I can't find the remote, or when I'm stuck in traffic, but usually I hope no one is watching. I certainly wouldn't hit "record" first, and then put it on YouTube.

Donald Trump, even after all the things he's said, isn't Hitler. Barack Obama isn't Hitler. George W. Bush isn't Hitler. Hitler is Hitler, and we diminish what he was about when we compare American politicians to him.

Now for you famous people who kindly took it upon yourselves to tell us how to vote, and threatened, yet again, that you were leaving the country if the Republican wins the election.

Yes, make no mistake. We go through this every four years. It may be more pronounced this year, because of Trump, but it's here, to some degree, every time. Barbra Streisand said in 1992 that she was moving to London if George H.W. Bush were re-elected. This time, I'm not sure if she said he's going to the U.K., but she did say she's leaving. That's fine. Time to go, Babs.

...'cuz if you don't leave, then we can only assume that your promise to do so was some strange kind of "threat." That's right. You folks actually believe that someone goes into a voting booth, prepares to hit the button for the Republican candidate, and then says, "Oh, wait. I can't do this! Miley Cyrus said she'll leave if the Republican wins! WHAT WAS I THINKING? I can't take that chance!"

Or, "I had my reasons for voting G.O.P. this time around, but Jon Stewart said he'd get in a rocket ship and take off for another planet! That sure was a close call!"

Or, "I honestly don't know what I would have done if I got up one day and CHER had loaded up her suitcases and left! Hillary it is!"

Or, "No....! Not you, TOO, George Lopez! How would I ever go on?!"

Or Amber Rose (whoever the damn hell that is) or Neve Campbell (she's still alive?) or any of these other self-important twits.

Your threat to leave, in all likelihood, didn't keep any Americans from voting for Trump. In fact, if anything, it may have caused people voting third party to go Full Donald on Tuesday, just for the perk of getting you the hell out of here.

So it's time for you to go. For some of you, I've been waiting for this moment for many years now. For others, well, I may not even have heard of you, but, hey, bon voyage. If you tried to hold us hostage by threatening us with your absence, then enjoy seeing the world. I'M not kicking you out; this country is yours just as much as it is chose to kick YOURSELVES out.

Seriously, go. If I could afford to park my car in your neighborhoods, I'd help you pack.

I just feel bad that Canada will have to put up with Lena Dunham from now on. But it's a large country, so that should dilute her ability to be a nuisance.

If not, there's always Russia.

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