Monday, February 11, 2019

A O-C and the SBD

"We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of f-rting cows and airplanes that fast, but we think we can ramp up renewable manufacturing and power production, retrofit every building in America, build the smart grid, overhaul transportation and agriculture, plant lots of trees and restore our ecosystem to get to net-zero." -- direct quotation (except for my striking out of one letter) from the Green New Deal, authored by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ed Markey (both of the Empire State). 

I used to refer to myself as the "world's youngest curmudgeon." Okay, maybe I wrote that once. I wish I wasn't constantly thinking about age, but I will say that I am old enough when you were not even permitted to say the word "f-rt" on television.

"Fort?"

"No."

"Fyrt?"

"That's not a word."

"It is in Norwegian!"

"Okay."

I don't use much in the way of foul language on this blog, and I usually blot out a letter if I do. I don't think I'll get in trouble or anything; I doubt Blogger is all that strict. This is just my little revolution against the ubiquity of such words, even the relatively tame ones that can now be heard on Nickelodeon. But I'm pretty sure I remember "f-rt" not being said aloud on television. Words like that became their own joke, as shows would try to see how close they could come to saying them or displaying them without getting hammered by the network. "-ss" is another such word. Johnny Carson once appeared as the surprise guest on Dean Martin's show, did a little bit, and then, apropos of nothing, said, "You bet your sweet -ss!" and brought the house down. Martin collapsed on the stage in laughter and disbelief. They cuckooed the word out on TV, and it was remarkable enough that the clip made it on the infomercial for the DVD (which is how I saw it -- I'm not that old). One quick "-ss" and people would be talking about it the next day. Think anyone would even blink today?

This part week, however, may be the first time that the word "f-rting" (present participle or otherwise) has made its way into an official congressional resolution. We'll leave aside, for the moment, the pledge to guarantee an income for people "unable or unwilling to work." I'm just marveling at the bit about the bovines gassy from too much grassy (or, more likely, whatever they're overfed with). This could pave the way for new language in government proposals.

"If Congress does not pledge to limit carbon outputs within the next term, we predict that the sh-t will hit the fan by approximately 2037."

"My esteemed colleague believes that raising marginal tax rates will be able to fund his ambitious health-care proposal, when, in fact, an O.P.B. study indicates that it will prove to be a clusterf-ck for the middle class."