Two Ways to Help ALL Victims of Domestic Abuse

For the past few years, I have gone to local libraries and domestic violence centers to distribute literature for two national organizations: Stop Abuse for EVERYONE (www.safe4all.org) and The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (www.dahmw.org). Both are fine organizations that understand that neither violence nor victimhood has a gender. The most common scenario presented with respect to DV involves a violent male battering his wife or girlfriend, but there is much evidence demonstrating that women often initiate (that's a key word) abuse against their male partners. Indeed, this study indicates that, within heterosexual relationships in which only one partner is engaging in violence, the woman is the violent party 70.7% of the time:

http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a

I mention the word "heterosexual" to point out that a disturbing level of violence also occurs within the gay-and-lesbian community, another facet that is overlooked when we only consider the "man beats woman" scenario. We do female victims of abuse no favors by ignoring male victims. Some DV shelters are fair and will assist any victim who walks through the door, but far too many ignore, ridicule, and harass male victims. I ask you for your help in two ways.

First, please look at and sign a petition that was introduced by DAHMW:

"For decades domestic abuse has been looked upon as a social problem of violence against women by men. Battered women's advocates and others concerned about domestic violence have created and funded over 2000 non profit agencies across the country that help victims. For more than 20 years these agencies have specialized in offering a full spectrum of services to what has been considered the traditional victims of domestic violence, women and children. Yet society has changed a great deal since we first became aware of the violence that goes on behind close doors. Men are now stay at home dads, some do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, change diapers, give the kids their baths and food shop...all the things that were unheard for men to do back in the 1950's and 60's when we first started recognizing the social problem of domestic violence. Women have changed quite a bit also. Many work outside the home, some hold high powered jobs and others run cement mixers. Women are also doing things that were unheard of in the 50's & 60's. They also get violent with their spouses/boyfriends and children. Our current system that offers supportive services to victims of intimate partner violence, everything from obtaining a court order to keep victims safe to clothing and transitional housing, for the most part, still runs under the antiquated notion that 95 - 98% of domestic abuse victims are women abused by men. This means that services for men abused by women or other men in same sex relationships are nearly non existent in these federally funded shelter programs. If you believe that federal and state funded domestic violence victims shelter programs should be mandated to support any victim and give them them same opportunities and services regardless of their gender, age, able-ism, ethnicity, religious beliefs or race etc. please sign our petition."

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/2/domestic-abuse-victims

Second, you can support this organization just by surfing the Web, at no cost to you. The folks at GoodSearch will donate to DAHMW with every search you make on its site. Go to www.goodsearch.com, and enter "Helpline Men" in the "Who Do You Goodsearch For?" box, and then search away. Thank you.

BeneGram's 2009 Final Fourcasts

WOMEN: Connecticut, Oklahoma, Stanford and Louisville. UConn over OK in the final. (UPDATE: Yay! Another 4-for-4 prediction!)

MEN: Louisville, Oklahoma, Pittsburgh, Memphis. Louisville over OK in the final. (UPDATE: Pshaw! A 0-for-4 prediction.)

I should point out that I had all four teams right in the 2005 women's Final Four (except I didn't have Baylor winning it all), and I had three of four teams right in the 2003 men's Final Four (the exception being Syracuse, who took the whole thing). I point that out not because it foreshadows future success, but rather because it'll probably never happen again. For amusement purposes only. BeneGram is not responsible for any action taken after reading the predictions herein. Enjoy the Dances.

World Turns Clocks Forward; Obama Turns Calendar Back Eight Years

Well, on Saturday night/Sunday morning, most of us moved our watches up an hour for Daylight Moving Time. (It doesn’t save anything. It’s like Fake Time. If we all want more sunlight, let’s all just get up earlier. Bah…)

Then, on Monday, Obama was partying like it’s 2001, expanding federal funding for embryonic stem-cell research, all the while polishing the same tired talking points from when this issue was first hitting the fan eight years ago -- talking points that were never true to begin with. Many in our oh-so-evenhanded mainstream media got credit for the assist. I like to think that even many who support ESCR were nauseated by the hyperbolizing going on over the past few days, with comments that “we’re finally going to have science in this country” and “opening the door to hope that had been closed for so many years.” (All those thousands of people who’ve been treated successfully with adult stem cells must have thought for a split second that their improved conditions were just a really nice dream.)

Stunningly, not only did Obama expand the funding of embryo-destructive research, but he also rescinded Bush’s executive order 13435, which had mandated funding of research into “alternative” sources of stem cells. We know that we might as well remove the quotations around the word “alternative,” as advancements with induced pluripotent stem cells – meaning skin cells coaxed at reverting to an embryonic-like state – are coming just about every week, and researchers keep finding easier and more efficient ways of making it work.

Meanwhile, the success stories just keep on comin’ with adult stem cells, such as the story this week of the young man who is regaining feeling in his chest and foot after receiving an injection of umbilical-cord stem cells in Peru. A dirt-bike accident left had left him paralyzed from the neck down. Not anymore:

http://www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/local/story/415974.html

(Thanks to Don Margolis (www.donmargolis.com) for linking to this story first.)

But remember: a patient with Parkinson’s or juvenile diabetes multiple sclerosis or a spinal-cord injury being successfully treated with anything other than embryonic stem cells simply doesn’t qualify as science, right? This kid can feel the lower half of his body again, and his blood pressure has stabilized, but if no embryonic human beings are destroyed we’re still “in the Dark Ages.” Right, mainstream media?

These exciting stories come from the kinds of promising, completely non-controversial research to which Obama gave lip service during his Monday press conference -- precisely while signing something that revoked President Bush’s executive order to study that research. Millions will support stem-cell research unless embryos are destroyed. Evidently, Obama will support stem-cell research ONLY IF embryos are destroyed. What a unifier.

The Conveniently Brand-New Call for Unity

This letter of mine appeared in The Philadelphia Daily News on Feb. 25.

I keep hearing this call for unity and bipartisanship. Oddly, the plea for us to all get along just so happened to coincide with President Obama's inauguration. Somehow I doubt that Democrats were this eager to "agree to disagree" when it was the GOP controlling the White House and Congress. No, then they were pledging to "stand up to Bush."

I'm also reminded of the classless louts who decided to "put their differences aside" and show their "unity" by shamefully booing President Bush on Inauguration Day, and making obscene gestures at his helicopter as he left.

As much as people disagreed with President Bill Clinton, I just can't seem to remember people flipping him off while Bush was being inaugurated eight years ago.

Unity and bipartisanship are great things. Less great is the Democrats' gross misunderstanding of those two words. Contrary to what they believe, "bipartisanship" doesn't mean silencing all who disagree with you.

This time, left on the cutting-room floor was my point that even "if these dolts can’t even show respect to Bush for one day – which they should – then how about showing respect to President Obama by not marring his ceremonies?" Instead, it became a pep rally.

It's About TIME

Perhaps I'm on a little roll here. Over the years, I've had letters/op-eds published in The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Kansas City Star, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, (most recently) The Washington Times, and several other publications. I'm happy to say that I broke new personal ground in one of the weeklies, as Time published my response to a cover story from a fortnight ago...

"Perhaps if Alice Park had interviewed even one opponent of embryonic research, her article would not have lacked so many important facts. Adult (nonembryonic) stem cells, dismissed by Park as 'less versatile,' have already treated thousands of actual human patients in the fight against conditions like juvenile diabetes -- a disease mentioned anecdotally by Park. Different types of adult stem cells (there are several) can be used for different situations; we do not need a one-size-fits-all cell that can become anything."

Trimmed for space purposes (I presume) was this part:

"President Bush’s federal funding limits to those stem-cell lines already in existence – a policy also implemented by the European Union – emphasized less controversial methods, such as the process of inducing adult cells to revert to an embryonic-like state. His policies did not hinder science; they helped it to advance."

Let's hope a couple million pairs of eyes, at least, look at the part that DID get published...

Just Another February Day

Happy Valentine's Day to those of you who have a special someone to spend it with. While you're staring at each other across the candlelit table, remember those who've spent every February 14 of their quiet lives alone. There are those who've just suffered through a divorce and those who are finding themselves without someone for the first time in a while, but there are also those for whom romance and dating and true love have always been mere widespread rumors. Some are teenagers; some are inhabiting college dorm rooms; some are in their 40s or 50s. Keep them in mind on this day, and you will treasure what you have more.

On that note, here are some nifty YouTube tracks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tY7Sfavc50o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57cs8dntLyg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU6z-bKWZy0

More posts to come in the next week...

With Sincere Appreciation for George W. Bush

UPDATE: The following update of mine appeared in the Jan. 20, 2009 edition of the Washington Times. As the changing of the guard takes place at Pennsylvania Avenue, there will be no paucity of words about the man who has been the White House’s most famous occupant since 2001. Since many will typify the less-than-complimentary view that some hold towards him, perhaps some space can be spared for genuine gratitude.

Thank you, President George W. Bush, for your actions and guidance during and after September 11, 2001 -- the most shocking ter rorist attack on our nation’s soil. Years before, I had read about sports commentator Jim McKay, who, prior to going on the air with the tragic news of the 11 Israeli athletes being slain at the 1972 Summer Olympics, had to keep that horrible secret to himself. I was reminded of McKay as you quietly internalized the sudden news of the attack while you were spending time with schoolchildren, in what should have been a pleasant respite from your executive duties. You would later be derided for your demeanor there – including, ridiculously, for the book you were reading to the students -- by people who would perhaps have preferred you to have terrified everyone in the room by screaming bloody vengeance with your fist hoisted to the ceiling.

Even though many wanted The War on Terror to begin on September 12, military action was deliberate rather than hasty and ill-prepared. And you did the right thing by stressing to Americans that our enemies should be identified by their ideology, not their race. Leading by example, you visited a mosque in your painstaking efforts to differentiate between the radicals who committed the atrocities and the hundreds of millions of peace-loving Muslims living here and abroad.

Thank you, President Bush, for not allowing science to be divorced from ethics. In 2001, you struck a balance on embryonic stem-cell research, limiting the millions of federal funding towards that field of study to those stem-cell lines already created, from human embryos already destroyed. You also devoted generous amounts of funding to studying adult stem cells -- which have already treated thousands of actual human patients -- and signed an executive order for more study of “alternative” methods of obtaining stem cells. Your opponents mischaracterized your view as “religious,” and reviled your policy as “anti-science” (or, worse, as “anti-cure”), but the positive results speak otherwise. A little more than a year ago, scientists successfully reprogrammed ordinary adult cells to an embryonic-like state – one of the “alternative” methods you had outlined. Many researchers are now turning away from embryonic research and toward these induced pluripotent cells – for reasons of both ethics and practicality. Your policy di d not impede research; it helped it to advance.

Thank you, Preside nt Bush, for what you’ve done for Africa. You initiated a bipartisan program that allows more than a million Africans to receive HIV antiretroviral drugs free of charge. You allocated billions in humanitarian aid in the fight there against AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis, poverty, and hunger, earning you praise from activist-rockers Bob Geldof and Bono, who may or may not agree with your foreign policy, but nonetheless hold Africa close enough to their hearts that they see you as a champion for their cause.

Your successor, Barack Obama, said in one of his television ads that the question should not be whether we’re better or worse off now than we were four years ago, smugly adding, “We all know the answer to that.” It was part of the centerpiece of his campaign: disparaging you. And yet you’ve been nothing but gracious w hile preparing to hand over the reins to someone who fashioned his presidential run around being your polar opposite.

When you, yourself, were running in 2000, you explained that great leaders and decisions are made by principle, not polls. That can be a dangerous philosophy to embrace, when the nightly news includes continual updates on your approval numbers (more often, oddly enough, when they’re down than when they’re up…hmm). Many, indeed, will be sneering and cheering as you head back to Crawford, Texas. But more than you might realize are thanking you sincerely today, just as I am.

Keith Olbermann Perpetuates Oft-Repeated Lie

...not that the Bag of Air at MSDNC is any stranger to having things wrong. Remember: this is the same man who was on THE TONIGHT SHOW a few years ago to rip President Bush's stance on embryonic stem-cell research by arguing that the human embryos in question are not fertilized (get thee to a seventh-grade biology book).

Well, on his Jan. 6 edition of COUNTDOWN, KO ripped legal and policy analyst Tom McClusky during his nightly, idiotic, partisan "Worse/Worser/Worst Person in the World" routine. McClusky has sided with those who, according to Olbermann, "interfered" in Michael Schiavo's bid to have his wife Terri clinically starved and dehydrated to death in 2005, over the pleas from Americans that they should -- ready for this? -- "stop their cynical manipulation of this beleaguered family."

K. Here's a little update for those who, while the Schiavo ordeal was transpiring, were a.) trapped down a well, b.) bouncing on the surface of the moon, or c.) Keith Olbermann.

The -- ah-- "beleaguered" family members of Terri Schiavo are the ones who wanted her to live and for the government to intercede to try to save her life. Her father, mother, sister, and brother wanted her to continue to receive food and water. It was her husband -- who was already planning to start a family with another woman -- who wanted her to "go." No evidence was ever provided with regard to a wish of Terri to be "let go" except for hearsay -- which was called into question by contradictory comments Michael made to others.

Furthermore, it was only after they did starve and dehydrate her that her brain functions ceased; before that she was not brain-dead but rather brain-damaged. These are not arbitrary phrases; they are medical terms with medical criteria, and so those who assert that she had been "brain-dead" prior to that are either ignorant or intentionally trying to mislead.

Those who pillory the brave people who attempted to save Terri Schiavo's life conveniently leave out that disability-rights groups were among those protesting the planned ending of her life – perhaps because they don't consider them as worthy a target as the so-called “religious right.” One doesn't need to be religious or a Republican to be outraged and horrified by the Terri Schiavo case -- but, of course, one DOES need to be religious or a Republican to get on Olbermann's list.

To learn more about Terri's story, head right to the source, her real, actual family: www.terrisfight.org. Beleaguered they may be -- but most often by the despicable likes of Keith Olbermann.

Happy/Merry

BeneGram is not even two months old yet, and we already have our first sizable hiatus, the first of what I'm sure will be occasional hiatuses (yeah, that's the correct plural -- I looked it up). Things have been busy and there are a few situations close to me that warrant my concern more than blogging right now. They also serve to remind us that no time of year is joyous for everybody, and we should remember that as we move through large crowds, whether it's during the holidays or not. Everyone has his or her own troubles to bear -- a layoff, a family illness, a recent loss, a divorce -- and they put into perspective griping about mall traffic or the price of wrapping paper.

The following is another column I had published in Press Newspapers of Delaware County (www.countypressonline.com), this one about two years ago, during the normal December blitz. I thought I should get this in before January. The lefties love griping about President Bush's "war on science," and righties love railing against the "war on Christmas." Q.: What do the two "wars" have in common? A.: Neither one actually exists.

Have a safe and happy 2009.

Nothing Wrong with "Happy Holidays"

Several years ago, while toiling away at a local retail establishment, I affixed a few signs to our drive-through windows. Scattered throughout them were the proper names "Kwanzaa," "Christmas," "Hanukkah," "Ramadan," and "Winter Solstice." At the bottom of each sheet, I wrote, "Whatever you celebrate, enjoy the season."

After my day off, I returned to work and was informed by a colleague that one of our customers had griped about my signs, hollering something to the effect of, "Don’t you get it? These other people don’t even care about their holidays! It’s Christmas!"

Evidently, that malcontent was ahead of his or her time, because in 2006 we now allegedly have a "war on Christmas." While I have no personal problem with Bill O’Reilly or any other pundit making this contention – I’m sorry, but I just don’t see it.

Every shopping center I drive by has red-and-green-and-gold decorations up. Practically every sitcom is doing its ripoff of It's a Wonderful Life. At least one major radio station has been hitting us with all manner of yuletide music, 24-7, since mid-November. (And last year I counted three.) If there’s some sort of "war on Christmas" going on, whoever declared it is losing soundly.

Hey, I like getting presents for family and friends as much as the next bloke. I’ve been to a few Christmas parties already this season, and I’ve even performed some of the music myself. But I’m not about to have a fruitcake-inspired hissy fit just because the cashier at Boscov’s wished me "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." (See, folks: Christmas is a holiday. It’s in there somewhere. Relax.)

I wish the people in my family "Merry Christmas" when the time is right. I say "Happy Hanukkah" to my Jewish friends. But I have friends who are dyed-in-the-wool atheists, and I wouldn’t dream of giving them a greeting that doesn’t apply to them and may, in fact, make them feel uncomfortable.

I can hear charges of being "too PC" already. Well, before anyone created the concept of "political correctness" we had another thing going around called "being nice to people" and one called "don’t exclude anyone."

Ah, the "war on Christmas" people say, but Christmas is a time that can be enjoyed by one and all, regardless of religion. Okay, then why does it seem that those making this argument are the same people telling us to "put the ‘Christ’ back in Christmas"?

If you want to argue that Christmas is becoming too secular, and that we’re forgetting the "reason for the season," fine – I won’t disagree. But we can’t have it both ways, gang. If you’re acknowledging that Christmas ought to remain true to the story of Bethlehem, then you can’t turn around and demand that Best Buy employees wish every customer "Merry Christmas," even when said customer is sporting a yarmulke.

So, please: enough of the boycotting department stores because of what you hear as you’re heading out the door with $600 of Salad Shooters®. (You should be nice to store clerks every day, because it’s thankless work, but that’s another issue.) There’s nothing anti-Christmas about saying "happy holidays" or "season’s greetings" or the even more secular "peace." Be nice to the dude at Genuardi’s, no matter which of these he happens to say to you. It’s the Christian thing to do.

Yep, Still Timely

The following piece of mine originally appeared in the COUNTY PRESS (www.countypressonline.com) and its sister newspapers for which I work. I thank the editorial staff for the opportunity. It appeared back in October but the issues raised are still quite germane. Hope you're all enjoying your Tofurkey® Day Weekend:

In this increasingly heated political year, some intimations made about Sen. Barack Obama are off-base, such as that he practices Islam. (I doubt he does, not that it should matter.) Obsessing over whether or not Obama wears a flag-pin has detracted from other things.Unfortunately, the mainstream media have back-burnered stories far more legitimate and troubling than Bristol Palin's Myspace page or the pronunciation of the word "nuclear."

Much has been made of Obama’s community organizing. The actual story is the nature of that "organizing": his work on the behalf of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN). Obama served as legal counsel for ACORN, served there as leadership trainer, and, this year, donated $800,000 to the organization. ACORN intimidated banks into offering risky loans to people who couldn’t pay them back, leading to the sub-prime lending crisis devastating the global economy.

ACORN is also the focus of a voter-fraud investigation. The FBI has raided ACORN offices in Nevada and North Carolina. More suspicious activity has occurred in Missouri, Ohio, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Colorado, Florida, and Tennessee. (Q.: What do these have in common? A.: Almost all are swing states.) For example, Indianapolis now has 105% of its population registered to vote. That’s right: the city somehow has more "registered voters" than actual residents. In Nevada, names from the Dallas Cowboys’ roster are appearing on voter-registration lists. Voter fraud ­-- including imposters to match the fake names on Election Day -- is a danger in Nevada, one of the states where no photo ID is required upon voting.

Obama is in the top three U.S. Senatorial recipients of donations from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, who bought up the aforementioned unwise loans. For years, Sen. John McCain – along with Alan Greenspan, Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight director Armando Falcon, and President Bush (seventeen times) – called for more oversight, forecasting the likelihood of impending financial doom. Congressional Democrats (and, yes, a handful of Republicans) chose not to heed the warning, calling Fannie and Freddie financially sound.

McCain, one of those who sought to prevent this crisis, is now absurdly being blamed for it, while people like Rep. Barney Frank and Sen. Christopher Dodd are being politely asked "what went wrong," when they should be sitting on the other end of the interrogation table.

Long after Sen. Hillary Clinton mentioned it during the Democratic primaries, the fact that Obama began his political career in the home of unrepentant terrorist William Ayers is finally being covered, albeit reluctantly. Some argue that Obama was only eight when Ayers’s group bombed the Pentagon and the U.S. Capitol, but he was certainly much older when he willingly allied himself with Ayers.

While in the Illinois State Senate, Obama went well beyond the pro-choice/pro-life debate by voting four times against protecting newborns who survived failed attempts at abortion. (Just type “Obama BAIPA” into YouTube.)

Not only Republicans should be greatly disturbed over the mainstream media's information blockade. A frightening precedent is set when Americans, whatever their party or race, cannot make an informed decision because they're deliberately deprived of the facts.

And So We Begin

Part of my first post will be, well, to see if this thing works properly, but part will be to launch something I've been meaning to do for a few years now. Some have asked, since I write about one odd thing or another, when I'm going to get my own blog. Well, this is as good a time as any, as Tuesday's elections have reenergized my angst.

That's not to say, of course, that this will be a completely conservative vehicle. Far from it. See the color-coding on my site? That means I'm in a red-purple sort of mood. I'm not beholden to any one party or viewpoint 100%; I dislike the idea of having to adopt any market basket of ideas. There will be plenty of apolitical commenting/griping here, as well.

Comments will be permitted, but I plan on moderating strongly once would-be commenters start trickling in. Each blogger must determine the amount of incivility, profanity, or nastiness (s)he will allow, and I'm still sort of finding my way.

So this thing will be on board just as soon as I click on the...